i've developed a new skill.
with a blink of an eye, i can suddenly feel...nothing.

it felt strange and i started to wonder if there was something wrong with me.
but after hours of thinking it through, i've decided to embrace it and it feels awesome.
indifference is bliss, bitch.

3 days to homeee!

oh and just to make something clear, you cant be a 'victim' if you enjoyed every minute of it

cuz ya'll mfers know who this is,
I'M GIFTED, merry christmas.

i think i'm high from the paper i just sat for.
freaakkinngg high.

i'm awesome. k bye!

oh and another one! I LOVEEEEEE!



eh wait, tak habis lagi!



one thing i can you is you've got to be free!
hold you in his armchair you can feel his disease...

OH SNAP! MJ's got his own version too! tooooo cool g!

I've been thinking of combustication as a welcome vacation from the burdens of the planet Earth.

i had goals.
very clear cut goals.
and motivations to achieve these goals.
i knew what i wanted to do, i knew exactly how to do it, what it takes, and above all, i knew i could do it.
but then sometimes shit happens. shit happens beyond your control and suddenly everything kinda just fades into the background and you lose your grasp on everything.

i looked at the first question in my paper and then my mind went blank.
and every other question seemed unfamiliar.
i tick the ones i'm confident with and out of 60 questions, i only ticked about a handful of them.
and later i picked up my assignment and i saw a big fat -30% on the cover.
that's what happens when you are no longer able to give even half a f*** anymore.

and the first image that came to my mind was my dad.
i wanna go home. i wanna go home and beg for forgiveness now because come December i dont think my dad would even want to look at me.
i want to tell him that my world fell apart along the way and i lost hope. i lost sight of everything i worked for and i screwed up.

they say sometimes you have to fall apart to get yourself together.
but they never said you have to fall THIS hard and that it was going to be so damn difficult.

i'm sorry.
i'm so, so sorry.

hello life, can you please, please give me break?
you'd think that after all the shit i've had to go through, maybe 'fate' or whatever would be kinder to me right, but no. hellz no. if you want anything fixed, if you want to get yourself and your life together, you've got to freaking work it out yourself. apparently the pieces aren't going to miraculously fall into place for you.
life will not cut you any slack simply because you've gone through rough times.
i've already been through a lot of shit, a little more wouldn't make much of a difference right?
NICE.
-_-'

k i need to stop being a dramatic child now.

i need a long vacation.
2 more to go. and then it's 3 months of self-rehab.

oh Plant, i love youuuuu!